Stephanie Canavesio

"We come to this human life to be connected, but we forget, we have amnesia because this physical life is so compelling. So the process of having a lifetime is to wake up to remembering that we are highly spiritual and dimensional beings."

How would you describe the work that you do? 
I believe that we are alive to go through this process of stepping into our wholeness. So I begin by meeting people exactly where they are, and leading them through whatever it is that is coming up - whether it’s fear, grief, sadness, anxiety, any type of physical or emotional pain that comes as they are stepping into higher states of consciousness.  

What is your approach in this process? 
The approach that I use is called Compassionate Inquiry, it was developed by Gabor Mate, and was the approach that allowed me to heal. It is about turning towards the repressed emotions that we have disconnected from during challenging times, generally in our childhood. It is based on the idea that we create beliefs about ourselves and then we live within a very small story line. This narrative that we create when we are younger repeats over and over again throughout our lives until that set of beliefs that allowed us to survive, actually becomes our own prison. 

So how do we break out of that prison? 
It is through the process of reconnecting to your true self, to your pure potential and your own abundance. We begin by making the commitment to staying present, especially through the difficult and challenging times because those are the most beautiful moments when healing can happen.

What drew you to this work?
When I met Gabor, I really appreciated his presence and how deeply understanding he was of my own traumas and addictions. I realized that having that compassionate presence was something that I had been lacking in my own process. I had done a lot of talk therapy but I had never been in the presence of another human being who was truly authentic, compassionate and knowledgeable in a way that allowed me to trust myself again and to go into my own pain. 

When did you realize you were in pain? 
I can remember being 30 and noticing different voices in my head, I didn't feel harmonized. I recognized that I would speak and it wasn't in conjunction with my thinking, but I didn't make a connection with the drugs and alcohol and eating disorders in my life. I didn’t understand how much I was numbing myself until I was about 35, when I started diving into more spiritual work. I made the correlation that drugs and alcohol were taking me out of my connection. Finally at 40, I looked in the mirror and didn't want to age into a bitter and negative human being. I realized I had the power to change my life and I needed to make serious changes. I then spent the next five years facing all the fear, anxiety and sadness I had been numbing for years. I was working with a lot of trauma.

Are we all working with a lot of trauma? 
Most of us are in some way. Some people don’t like the word trauma, but it has to do with being disconnected from our true selves. We come to this human life to be connected, but we forget, we have amnesia and it is easy to forget because this physical life is so compelling. 
So the process of having a lifetime is to wake up to remembering that we are highly spiritual and dimensional beings. 

Who have been your biggest teachers on this journey? 
Shiva Rea, an amazing friend and yoga teacher. She was the first embodied human I experienced. She taught me that you have to look the tiger in the eye, to face fear. I was introduced to Buddhism through Robert Thurman and Joe Luizzo and studied contemplative psychology with them. I then met Gabor in NYC, and he stood in front of me and saw me, and I felt the power of the compassionate presence of seeing someone in their light and the impact that can have. 

What is the impact that compassionate presence can have? 
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and seen in our pain, it is only then that we can truly touch upon the aspects of ourselves that have remained in the darkness.

What does healing mean to you? 
Unfortunately there are many buzzwords now and we have something in the mind where we disconnect when we hear them. Healing is an evolution of these states of consciousness that we experience within ourselves as we step into wholeness. Stepping into wholeness means being willing to take responsibility for your emotions, and making a commitment to everyday showing up no matter what, especially on those days when there is fear and sadness and instead of judging yourself for it, have compassion for yourself. It is a process of unfolding who you truly are, your unique and beautiful essence. That process is different every single day and if we get out of the way with the mind, then everything that unfolds in our field is an opportunity for us to step into that wholeness. 

Why can this sometimes feel so hard to do!? 
We live in systems that are designed to thwart this process of unfolding because it thrives off the aspects of ourselves that live in the dark. It has no interest in our healing. Consumerism around wellness and healing is a paradox, but I believe it’s a stage of the awakening, and it’s better we are speaking about it and becoming aware of it then not. I am sure that we are going in the direction of planetary growth and transformation, I trust that this is a part of it that we have to accept.

What does personal healing work have to do with collective change?
There is a part that is really individual, where we learn how to become the witness, to heal ourselves internally before the solutions for the new systems emerge. Then there is that pivotal moment when we have to choose to step out of ourselves, that is where the vulnerability activates. If we have done the work but we still have fear in our system we can just stay in the hamster wheel of healing and not step out because we are still lost in the mind. Real change happens when we embody ourselves fully and we begin to see how can I share this, what can I offer, how can I really make change. How can I really be kind and compassionate to others? 

How do you make your work accessible?
I offer as many sessions for free or reduced as I can to the students of compassionate inquiry, and also to people who need financial support. I also offer a lot of meditations online. 

What are some of your daily rituals and practices? 
The morning time is the most important time of the day for me, it is an opportunity to set yourself up. Every morning I meditate for at least 10 minutes, I always exercise, I go for a walk or swim, and try to do 3 pages of morning writing, a practice from the Artist's Way. I waited my whole life to wake up and contemplate nature and now living in Ibiza I am so happy. When I feel out of whack I take cold showers. I have crystals everywhere in my house. I love burning sandalwood and copal. I love silence. So whenever there is silence I take time to savor it.

What do you keep on your bedside table?
I have Tanit, the goddess of Ibiza. I have a shungite stone, it is a protective stone and absorbs EMF. 

What is the advice that has stuck with you over the years? 
Life isn’t happening to you, it is happening through you. 

What words of Wisdom do you find yourself sharing? 
When fear and anxiety are present, welcome them. They are our teachers. 

What has been your biggest lesson?
My biggest lesson this lifetime is letting go of control and allowing myself to trust in the wisdom of uncertainty. It has been my pillar these last three years and it has been tough! There is an incredible amount of space that comes in the more I let go of this control.

What do you do everyday? 
I check in with myself and I see what is coming into awareness and asking to be cleared. I ask for support from my guides and teachers around me and then I have a deep sense of gratitude for being able to experience it. 

What three things bring you joy? 
Connecting with family, friends and community, connecting to nature, and then feeling that connection with source and divinity. If I can do it at the same time that is the best. 

Books you recommend right now? 
The Space Cruiser Inquiry by A.H. Almaas
When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate

 Photos by Sofia Gomez Fonzo